Thursday, 2 February 2017

Week 38

I've only just noticed that there is a two year gap between week 36 and week 37.  Two whole years, wow.  I was busy mind, doing serious stuff and dealing with a lot of consequences.  It feels like so long ago.  I had a lovely moment this week with a friend that I've made recently at work, who'd just read my entire blog from beginning to end (yes, it only makes sense if you start at Week 0) and helped me remember how important it is to me.  On driving home and thinking about it some more, I realised why I haven't written any of it for so long.  When the story splits into two, I thought that I would be able to write both tracks at the same time but I can't.  What I need to do is write the past first, at least the main bones of it.  Which means I need to write a love story and writing that when my marriage was falling apart will have been impossible to consider never mind attempt.  Now, however, is a different matter.  Now, I know what I want a love story to feel like, to look like, to sound like.  I want Frankie to sense the butterflies starting to grow, I want her to blush when Mac looks her way.  I want her every waking moment to be full of anticipation, to hear her giggle ridiculously at nothing, to see her ponder at what might be.  To fall in love, head over heels, be exasperating, unfathomable, happy, carefree.  I want the reader to fall in love with her too, to see her at her best, to see her potential, to watch her grow.  This is what I want to write next, this is how it will move forwards.  I need to go back to the beginning, to where it all began, to find her anew and introduce her to the world.  It feels like the gap was necessary, almost essential, we need to meet her for the first time.  I need to meet her for the first time.  She needs building, creating, defining.  We need to meet our heroine, embrace all her hopes and dreams with the flaws and vulnerabilities of her youth.  I need to build her up having forgotten how I brought her down, how she fell and crumbled.  I thought I needed to go back and re-read what I'd already written about her but that's the last thing I need to do.  Frankie, be prepared to be welcomed to the world, your story is about to begin....

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