Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Poetry 18

I bared my soul
So you might too
And now it's dust
What to do.
Build it back
Start afresh,
Let go again,
One more test.
Testing what
I hear you ask
Test my love
My faith, my heart.

Poetry 17

Trust.  Trust him, trust you, trust me.
Trust us all, unconditionally.
Dig in deep, let it show.
Take life back, have one more go.

Poetry 16

If I see you, I'll kill you,
That's how it must be.

With a knife, from behind,

Poetry 15

Simply, gently, quietly now.
There's movement afoot.
Soften that brow.
Be calm, be patient, just you see,
Your moment is coming,
Wait, let it be.

Tuesday, 28 February 2017

Poetry 14

Sitting in a cafe as the world rushes by, holding a moment, a feeling.
I try to keep still, to contain, the sadness, the joy, a yearning to dance, to implode, to destroy.
I cannot move, for fear, for remorse, of what will become if I open the doors.
There's more to me than meets the eye, yet I dare not aim to reach the sky.
There's a need to be free, to seek for more, to connect within, to get to pour
Myself into this life, to take what's mine, to shine my light.
I shall not die before I've lived. I know it now, it is my right.

- Louise

Poetry 13

There's a moment in time
That I catch to a beat
When my soul takes a dive
And falls into my feet.
The rhythm takes over
My body, my mind.
Taking me elsewhere
A space undefined.
Unable to stop
It makes me complete
Want to dance till I drop
Sated, replete.

- Louise

Poetry 12

Can you see what is missing if I hold it to the light.
Can you tell that there's something not quite right.
Do you feel cold drafts sweeping through your home.
Do you know that you're sitting in your comfort zone.

Can you see how the cracks are beginning to show.
Can you tell that the children are wanting to know.
Do you feel any warmth living in this joint.
Do you know that she's reaching breaking point.

Can you see now the signs that something was wrong.
Can you tell that two people were in pain for so long.
Do you feel any better, now you're with someone new.
Do you know that to heal, it must start with you.

- Louise

Monday, 27 February 2017

Poetry 11

Sit still, wander not.
Don't think. Stay stopped.
Wait awhile. Pause. Breathe.
Take the chance. You can't leave.

Hold her tight, feel the love.
Let her know, she's enough.
Tell her how much you care.
Touch her skin, stroke her hair.

A new life, born today.
Don't take your love away.
She needs you now, not tomorrow.
No more pain, no more sorrow.

She'll teach you well
She knows the score
She wants your love
Nothing more.

Poetry 10

Sit with me and see my soul,
Let the silence move, unroll.
Feel it deep and curl within,
Gently stretch, turn and spin.
Lift its head and look at you,
Past your skin, cutting through.
Hold it tight, in you I trust,
See the light, begin we must.

Sunday, 26 February 2017

Poetry 9

Waiting in the dark
Ready to break free
Lying still and silently
Deep inside of me.

Poetry 8

Do you know how to love me
Do you know what that means
You become part of my hopes
Core to my dreams.

We jumped into together
Both feet first
It didn't work out
You came off worst.

We broke into pieces
Disappeared into crumbs
Fumbled away
All fingers and thumbs.

I pulled the plug
It was all I could do
I'd given it everything
If only you knew.

Poetry 7

I hate it.
Yes, that's right, me.
I am the I in
I hate it.

Hate, strong word.
Despise, detest,
Loathe, abhor.
It's big, deep,
All consuming,

I just wish I knew
What the it was.

Saturday, 25 February 2017

Poetry 6

Within, without.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Hold in, hold out.

Give in, give out.

Move in, move out.

Bring in, bring out.

Write in, write out.

Leave in, leave out.

Poetry 5

For everything
That holds you back
Keeps you down
Let it out
No exception.

For the past
Accept the pain
The loves lost
Let it in
See it go
Give it air
Begin the flow.

For now
For you
And them
When it hurts
Too much
When it's
Not enough.

For the future
What won't be
What cannot
Shattered hopes
And dreams
Give it up
No expectation.

Friday, 24 February 2017

Poetry 4

Did you choose me
Or did I choose you
Does the parent decide
Was it my choice too?
Did I tear up your dreams
Put aside all those plans
When I arrived in your life
No room for this lamb.
The timing was off
For you and for me
I didn't want
To be your baby.

I've been working it through
For a long while now
Not holding back
Turning it round.
But now and again
It comes back to haunt
That moment of birth
The start of it all.
It wasn't the best
But it is what it is
You did what was right
That's why I exist.

I love you so much
For standing by me
For taking me on
For letting me be.
It's tough in this game
There's ups and there's downs
You gave me a chance
I hope that you're proud
Of what I've become
Of the choices I make
For the life that I lead
The chances I take.

Now I've two of my own
I know what it means
To have greater hopes
To hold bigger dreams.
To feel deep love
And give it away
Without a want
No debt to repay.
I hold on tight
To the time that I have
And know that I'm loved
And feel very glad.

Poetry 3

Love me unconditionally that I may never want for love again.
Love all that is within me and without falter.

Love my skin, my bones and all that lies between,
My light, my dark, what you see and what you don't.

Love me inwardly and outwardly, privately and publicly,
The beating of my heart and the breathing of my soul.

Love me when I am right and when I am wrong,
Love my thinking, my dancing, my song.

Love me always and forever.
Love me unconditionally that I may never want for love again.

Poetry 2

Tell me what I want. Tell me.
Put those thoughts into words
So I can understand

Tell me where I am. Tell me.
Help me feel the ground
Beneath my feet
And stand

Tell me who I am. Tell me.
Let me see what you see
So I can see

Poetry 1

Going through some interesting stuff at the moment and have been consumed by the need to write poetry for the first time ever in my life, so here it is:

Sometimes you have to draw a line
And make a list
The pros and cons
The rights and wrongs
What's yours, what's mine.

Sometimes you have to draw a line
To create a divide
Between today and tomorrow
What's gone before
Connecting to now.

Sometimes you have to draw a line
Between two lives
Our past and the future
What we had
What we won't.

Sometimes you have to draw a line
To define a time
Complete the process
End the hurt
Close it down.

Sometimes you have to draw a line
To define the beginning
Start again
Find the time
Remember what's mine.

Saturday, 11 February 2017

Week 39

Frustratingly, there was an exercise to do this week when all I wanted to do was go and write about Frankie, however this is how I'm making progress, yes it is progress, so I'm sticking with it.  Here goes......

Exercise 20 - write six lines of dialogue, two people three lines each.  Discussing the refurbishment of a local library and communicate to your reader that they dislike each other intensely without them saying it outright.

Blimey, didn't fancy this at all but this is where it got to, let me know what you think...

A: "How can you possibly like the work they've done in the Fiction section, it's completely chaotic."
B: "Do you really think that?  Oh no, I love the way it moves around, it's so fluid."
A: "Fluid, are you kidding me, what's with fluid?  One of the objectives of a library is surely to enable people to find the books they are looking for, not to wander around in some vague hope of connecting the end of L to the beginning of M.  I shouldn't be surprised though, you always do have    a way of disagreeing with me."
B: "Oh please, don't be so paranoid.  I was merely reflecting that I like it, I'm much more of a browser than you, waiting for a spark from a title or a cover to attract me to something new.  How constraining to only look for books from a list and not be open to finding something you weren't looking for."
A: "Of course, complete misinterpretation of everything I say and so presumptuous that you could in anyway know me."
B: "You're overreacting, all I said was that I liked something you didn't, just my point of view, not some great statement that needs exclaiming about and embellishing into the latest drama.  Like you said, complete misinterpretation."

Possibly a bit too obvious, very hard having homework with no-one to mark it......

Thursday, 2 February 2017

Week 38

I've only just noticed that there is a two year gap between week 36 and week 37.  Two whole years, wow.  I was busy mind, doing serious stuff and dealing with a lot of consequences.  It feels like so long ago.  I had a lovely moment this week with a friend that I've made recently at work, who'd just read my entire blog from beginning to end (yes, it only makes sense if you start at Week 0) and helped me remember how important it is to me.  On driving home and thinking about it some more, I realised why I haven't written any of it for so long.  When the story splits into two, I thought that I would be able to write both tracks at the same time but I can't.  What I need to do is write the past first, at least the main bones of it.  Which means I need to write a love story and writing that when my marriage was falling apart will have been impossible to consider never mind attempt.  Now, however, is a different matter.  Now, I know what I want a love story to feel like, to look like, to sound like.  I want Frankie to sense the butterflies starting to grow, I want her to blush when Mac looks her way.  I want her every waking moment to be full of anticipation, to hear her giggle ridiculously at nothing, to see her ponder at what might be.  To fall in love, head over heels, be exasperating, unfathomable, happy, carefree.  I want the reader to fall in love with her too, to see her at her best, to see her potential, to watch her grow.  This is what I want to write next, this is how it will move forwards.  I need to go back to the beginning, to where it all began, to find her anew and introduce her to the world.  It feels like the gap was necessary, almost essential, we need to meet her for the first time.  I need to meet her for the first time.  She needs building, creating, defining.  We need to meet our heroine, embrace all her hopes and dreams with the flaws and vulnerabilities of her youth.  I need to build her up having forgotten how I brought her down, how she fell and crumbled.  I thought I needed to go back and re-read what I'd already written about her but that's the last thing I need to do.  Frankie, be prepared to be welcomed to the world, your story is about to begin....