Monday, 11 November 2013

Week 4

It turns out that exercises are only set on alternate weeks, I guess this means there may be more of my ramblings than I had expected.  This has made me feel rather uncomfortable even though each week I have written more than the exercise itself.  I had assumed (great word) that every chapter would include an exercise for the week and I would be able to focus purely on that but it seems not.  What I have also been doing, alongside my assuming, is only reading the book on Mondays which are blog days. This is working at the moment but may need changing, only 'may' so I will think about it.  With no exercise to do I am left to write about where I am now, which is not so good at this point in time.
This afternoon, I thought I'd killed the dog.  Not killed her myself but that she'd been killed whilst under my care.  'The' dog makes it sound like a very disconnected relationship which isn't what it's like at all.  E is 11 months old and has been with us since the middle of February.  She had the challenge of coming into a household that had been dog-less for just over a year.  A difficult one given that her predecessor P was the most perfect dog and had left a hole that none of us thought could ever be filled.  While she hasn't replaced P, it became very clear, very quickly, that we had really needed her and that our family unit had been missing a limb.  Now, with our 5th leg, we are on an even keel (very mixed metaphors there but hey ho!), dealing with the storms that blow our way and moving forward again.  So, when I lost her this afternoon, it wasn't good.  Then, having driven around the block looking for her and seeing two men leaning over something next to their car at the side of the road, it did all crash down around me.  In the minute it took me to get them, I heard the screams of my children, saw her still and lifeless body and felt my heart cave in.   To find them leaning over a remote control car sent relief rushing through my entire body.  I'm not sure how it must be to have someone drive up to you to tell you how she thought you'd killed her dog, so I won't make any assumptions, but suffice to say they weren't there for long.  Having then spotted said dog, I eventually managed to tempt her back into the command of the fold and return safely home.   She didn't die.  There were no screams, no body, and life this evening is back on its even keel.  I went on an emotional roller-coaster for a couple of minutes this afternoon.  It had quite an impact on my day and I'd like to get off now please.

1 comment:

  1. We've just adopted two cats - I had the same emotional rollercoaster on their first night with us when the kitten was nowhere to be found. They'd managed to knock the underside off the kitchen cupboards and after looking underneath she was nowhere to be seen. I had visions of her somehow being stuck inside the kitchen wall and her dying in there. As it turned out she had just wedged herself in the corner where we couldn't see her so we just had to dismantle the kitchen to get to her! It took us an hour to get her out and she was so scared but the relief that washed over me when I held her after her ordeal was phenomenal.