Poetry 5

Grieve
Deeply
Fully
For everything
That holds you back
Keeps you down
Let it out
No exception.

Grieve
For the past
Accept the pain
The loves lost
Let it in
See it go
Give it air
Begin the flow.

Grieve
For now
For you
And them
When it hurts
Too much
When it's
Not enough.

Grieve
For the future
What won't be
What cannot
Shattered hopes
And dreams
Give it up
No expectation.

Poetry 4

Did you choose me
Or did I choose you
Does the parent decide
Was it my choice too?
Did I tear up your dreams
Put aside all those plans
When I arrived in your life
No room for this lamb.
The timing was off
For you and for me
I didn't want
To be your baby.

I've been working it through
For a long while now
Not holding back
Turning it round.
But now and again
It comes back to haunt
That moment of birth
The start of it all.
It wasn't the best
But it is what it is
You did what was right
That's why I exist.

I love you so much
For standing by me
For taking me on
For letting me be.
It's tough in this game
There's ups and there's downs
You gave me a chance
I hope that you're proud
Of what I've become
Of the choices I make
For the life that I lead
The chances I take.

Now I've two of my own
I know what it means
To have greater hopes
To hold bigger dreams.
To feel deep love
And give it away
Without a want
No debt to repay.
I hold on tight
To the time that I have
And know that I'm loved
And feel very glad.

Poetry 3

Love me unconditionally that I may never want for love again.
Love all that is within me and without falter.

Love my skin, my bones and all that lies between,
My light, my dark, what you see and what you don't.

Love me inwardly and outwardly, privately and publicly,
The beating of my heart and the breathing of my soul.

Love me when I am right and when I am wrong,
Love my thinking, my dancing, my song.

Love me always and forever.
Love me unconditionally that I may never want for love again.

Poetry 2

Tell me what I want. Tell me.
Put those thoughts into words
So I can understand
Process
Explain.

Tell me where I am. Tell me.
Help me feel the ground
Beneath my feet
And stand
Still.

Tell me who I am. Tell me.
Let me see what you see
So I can see
Me
Too.

Poetry 1

Going through some interesting stuff at the moment and have been consumed by the need to write poetry for the first time ever in my life, so here it is:

Sometimes you have to draw a line
And make a list
The pros and cons
The rights and wrongs
What's yours, what's mine.

Sometimes you have to draw a line
To create a divide
Between today and tomorrow
What's gone before
Connecting to now.

Sometimes you have to draw a line
Between two lives
Our past and the future
What we had
What we won't.

Sometimes you have to draw a line
To define a time
Complete the process
End the hurt
Close it down.

Sometimes you have to draw a line
To define the beginning
Start again
Find the time
Remember what's mine.

Week 39

Frustratingly, there was an exercise to do this week when all I wanted to do was go and write about Frankie, however this is how I'm making progress, yes it is progress, so I'm sticking with it.  Here goes......

Exercise 20 - write six lines of dialogue, two people three lines each.  Discussing the refurbishment of a local library and communicate to your reader that they dislike each other intensely without them saying it outright.

Blimey, didn't fancy this at all but this is where it got to, let me know what you think...

A: "How can you possibly like the work they've done in the Fiction section, it's completely chaotic."
B: "Do you really think that?  Oh no, I love the way it moves around, it's so fluid."
A: "Fluid, are you kidding me, what's with fluid?  One of the objectives of a library is surely to enable people to find the books they are looking for, not to wander around in some vague hope of connecting the end of L to the beginning of M.  I shouldn't be surprised though, you always do have    a way of disagreeing with me."
B: "Oh please, don't be so paranoid.  I was merely reflecting that I like it, I'm much more of a browser than you, waiting for a spark from a title or a cover to attract me to something new.  How constraining to only look for books from a list and not be open to finding something you weren't looking for."
A: "Of course, complete misinterpretation of everything I say and so presumptuous that you could in anyway know me."
B: "You're overreacting, all I said was that I liked something you didn't, just my point of view, not some great statement that needs exclaiming about and embellishing into the latest drama.  Like you said, complete misinterpretation."


Possibly a bit too obvious, very hard having homework with no-one to mark it......

Week 38

I've only just noticed that there is a two year gap between week 36 and week 37.  Two whole years, wow.  I was busy mind, doing serious stuff and dealing with a lot of consequences.  It feels like so long ago.  I had a lovely moment this week with a friend that I've made recently at work, who'd just read my entire blog from beginning to end (yes, it only makes sense if you start at Week 0) and helped me remember how important it is to me.  On driving home and thinking about it some more, I realised why I haven't written any of it for so long.  When the story splits into two, I thought that I would be able to write both tracks at the same time but I can't.  What I need to do is write the past first, at least the main bones of it.  Which means I need to write a love story and writing that when my marriage was falling apart will have been impossible to consider never mind attempt.  Now, however, is a different matter.  Now, I know what I want a love story to feel like, to look like, to sound like.  I want Frankie to sense the butterflies starting to grow, I want her to blush when Mac looks her way.  I want her every waking moment to be full of anticipation, to hear her giggle ridiculously at nothing, to see her ponder at what might be.  To fall in love, head over heels, be exasperating, unfathomable, happy, carefree.  I want the reader to fall in love with her too, to see her at her best, to see her potential, to watch her grow.  This is what I want to write next, this is how it will move forwards.  I need to go back to the beginning, to where it all began, to find her anew and introduce her to the world.  It feels like the gap was necessary, almost essential, we need to meet her for the first time.  I need to meet her for the first time.  She needs building, creating, defining.  We need to meet our heroine, embrace all her hopes and dreams with the flaws and vulnerabilities of her youth.  I need to build her up having forgotten how I brought her down, how she fell and crumbled.  I thought I needed to go back and re-read what I'd already written about her but that's the last thing I need to do.  Frankie, be prepared to be welcomed to the world, your story is about to begin....